BLOW THE WIND SOUTHERLY

Blow the wind southerly, southerly, southerly
Blow the wind south where' s the bonnie blue sea
Blow the wind southerly, southerly, southerly
Blow bonnie breeze my lover to me and bring her to me

He'd had a dream that she would arrive by boat.

And because of the dream he went devoutly each morning and evening to the harbour, scanning the horizon for any sign of his future love.

Family, friends and townsfolk all thought Alfred was slightly touched to believe in a dream to such an extent but he gave them no mind. He believed dreams were messages from God and one should believe in them as much as they did in scripture.

Watching through his pocket telescope he would spend hours examining each vessel that came into port.

"Where is she? Come to me, my love," he would often whisper under his beard.

"Who are you talking to Alfred?"

Alfred turned to find a bunch of idle youths laughing behind their hands.

"I am waiting for Venus, Aphrodite and Ariadne all at once."

Guffawing at his answer, one of the lads replied, "Three at the same time, eh?"

Oblivious to their infantile hectoring, Alfred returned to his telescope as he kept exploring the horizon with avid expectation.

But devoted as he was to his dream, his divine deity of the sea still had not yet appeared.

They told me last night there were ships in the offing
And I hurried down to the deep rolling sea
But my eye could not see it wherever might be it
The bark that is bringing my lover to me

Then late one night, just as he was headed to bed, Alfred noticed a vessel approaching the bay close to his cottage window.

A supernaturally green lit lantern appeared to flash intermittently which felt wholly different to the other ships he'd previously spied in the many years since he'd first been on the lookout for his sea-swept muse.

"It's her! She's finally arrived!" Alfred exclaimed excitedly.

Putting on his winter coat over his undergarments, he raced down from his front door to the sandy beach so he could welcome his long awaited love onto shore.

Then, wading beyond the shallows, Alfred found himself up to his waist in the bitterly cold sea water unable to contain his excitement.

"My dream has arrived! Finally!"

As the small boat came closer, he could see her sublime form outstretched like a mermaid goddess and he felt ecstastic with unconditional love for her.

"Come to me this instance, my beauty!"

But as he placed his hand on the bow of the boat, he looked up and saw the most frightening looking image that exceeded even his own worst nightmares.

For his love's face looked identical to that of a blobfish, all pink flesh and grim looking.

"It's a lie! It's a damn lie!" Alfred shouted at the coal black night sky and the foaming waves that surged all around him.

Eventually, collapsed on the shore, Alfred felt betrayed by his instincts and could no longer bear to gaze upon the horrid vision.

Then he heard laughter reminiscent of the lads at the harbour and realised he had been cruelly tricked.

Undeterred by the awful vision, Alfred returned the next morning to the harbour to continue his search for his love.

Watching through his pocket telescope, he remained steadfast to the hope she would arrive as he'd dreamed she would.

"Have they not turned up yet then, Albert?" one of the lads shouted mockingly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you wouldn't still be looking for her if she had!"

Knowing better than to turn to face his juvenile adversaries, Alfred kept his eye firmly on the coast.

"She's in bed. I'm just choosing the vessel for us to go a voyaging the night of our wedding."

The laughter that ensued from the cocky boys was uproarious but Alfred took no notice.

He knew she was coming any day now.