COCA-COLA ISLAND

He lived on Coca-Cola Island where the 'black champagne' flowed freely in gushing waterfalls, winding streams and deep fizzing lagoons. Sometimes he even bathed in the stuff, feeling sticky but rejuvenated.

After the outlawing of the globe's most famous drink (after water) by the World Health Organisation in the year 2030, Herbert Neumann bought the remaining Coca-Cola stock from all bottling plants around the world and had them transported to his private coral island just 100 miles from the Polynesian Triangle.

Having famously aired his personal and controversial belief that Coca-Cola was in fact the elixir of life, he had become the exiled face of the cancelled brand and was shunned by colleagues and business partners, friends and family alike.

It was lonely for awhile, with only some of his work force to keep him company and no one from his own personal life to converse with but Herbert made the most of his life in exile similar to the sorcerer, Prospero, on his mystical island though even the wizard had his daughter Miranda to comfort him in old age. Nemann's daughter, Jennifer, had flat out refused to join him in his eccentric escape to his own private island. He had warned her that the world would become increasingly insane and censorious and that they could both live far happier with their lifetime supply of Coca-Cola but she was sceptical of the idea to say the least.

Every evening, sipping his favourite carbonated, black as midnight drink, watching orange and purple sunsets melt into the sea, he thought of his daughter often and wondered if he could even conjure her telepathically so she might finally join him in his sparkling Cola paradise.

Then a strange thing started to happen as one after one, boats began to arrive at the vast shore of Coca-Cola Island: men, women and children - what Neumann referred to as the Cola Refugees, all desperately thirsting for the black elixir, that nostalgic drink of their childhoods that he had acquired all to himself.

He had been told by many of the soft drink pilgrims that word got out through the cracks in the mass tech censorship about Coca-Cola Island, although no-one knew for sure whether it truly existed as any communciation lines to the island had been comprehensively scrambled by the tech over lords of Silicon Valley.

Soon, homes and houses were built from discarded Coke cans as Herbert made sure to retain the natural look of the island at all costs whilst recycling his endless cans of 'Black Gold'. As time went on, a Cola community was built from his singular dream and the inhabitants all bonded through their one shared affinity - that of Coca-Cola - and lived perhaps more harmoniously than any community in the history of the world.

The islanders renamed Herbert 'Coca Wonka' and he made sure to look after his people where there was no banning of any thing joyful and all days were spent fishing, swimming and enjoying endless island games and performing music.

And of course, drinking man's greatest invention after fire.

There was only one essential thing missing from this paradise which Nemann had underestimated when he set off for the Island.

Toothpaste!