MAKE RAINBOWS RAINBOWS AGAIN

He appeared from out of nowhere, almost like a leprechaun but with a more conventional line in tailoring and although he seemed to have no connections to anyone local from the area, he announced confidently at the top of the high street that he was looking to stand as MP for the town of Crumblewell as the people's "non-political" candidate.

Morton Samuels was running on one issue and one issue only: to make rainbows rainbows again.

The mysterious candidate's basic reasoning was that rainbows had been appropriated by identitarian ideologues and weaponised to such an extent that no-one could look at a rainbow without thinking of the loaded symbolism behind them anymore, whether it be the LGBTQIA+ community or the National Health Service. He felt strongly that this was an encroachment on the rights of everyday non-activist people to enjoy something that should be free of any association to any one cause and remain absolutely at all times non-political.

"Rainbows are for everyone and for certain groups to use it for their flag or political cause should be considered an imposition of what I believe to be a universal symbol of hope for all, and yes, even if that means hurting some feelings. I'm sorry. This is more important than any one person or group."

Speaking at one of the many local town candidate debates, Morton had an obvious charm and charisma for all to see and though he put across his case convincingly there were continual interurruptions and expletives shouted at him while he remained the epitome of calm and reason, a saint of self-restraint.

"My position is essentially a simple one. Look, the way I see it, everyone has the right to enjoy rainbows for purely being rainbows just as we enjoy air for being air or water for being water, but to promote it as if it belongs solely to any one individual or group is problematic. My aim is to ensure in law that rainbows belong to everyone equally which then, in turn, offends no-one. Rainbow appropriation is a real thing, people."

Sticky though the issue was on a legal and philosophical level, Morton had created a moral dilemma that seemed to provoke many and yet also gather support from swathes of the local population who liked the basic point he was making.

Considering he had no finanical support from any donors, Morton's one man campaign was simple, yet effective.

Calling his party The Non Rainbow Party with grey sky coloured pamplets and flyers and with zero visual reference to any rainbows whatsoever, the subliminal messaging was subtle but potent. In an interview with the town's local newspaper, The Crumblewell Chronicle, he explained why it was important that he didn't contradict his position regarding the use of rainbows whilst campaigning.

"I'm afraid the general direction of travel with these things is not dissimilar to Mao's cultural revolution or the Russian revolution of 1917. Before you know it, every single commonplace thing will become political weapons, even the grass in our fields. Rainbows are just the tip of the iceberg. And yes, I see parallels with the Nazis here I must say and it's unfortunate. The road to Hell in this instance may have been originally paved with good and progressive intentions but it's affecting our overall society and culture in a dangerous and demoralising way. I feel strongly enough about it to make the point at this local level and hope then to slowly amplify awareness for the wider West at large if I may be so grandiose."

Inevitably, death threats soon transpired after the article was published and Morton was advised by his supporters to consider quite seriously how to deal with his own personal security, although he seemed strangely oblivious as if he believed he was impervious to danger somehow. All he knew was that the issue he was highlighting was contentious in the eyes of his enemies which only further proved his point that rainbows had become overtly and dangerously political. Simply put, it was the best argument for his argument.

In an audacious attempt to soothe the savage beasts that threatened him and his campaign, he began to add an additional feature each time he spoke in public which was to sign off with his very own vocal rendition of  'Look To The Rainbow' from Finian's Rainbow. The affect of his singing the old Broadway song with total sincerity and with zero accompaniment seemed to create a trance-like spell over his audiences, including the aggressive agitators seeking to sabotage his speaking events.

On the day I was born,
Said my father, said he.
I've an elegant legacy
Waitin' for ye,
'Tis a rhyme for your lips
And a song for your heart,
To sing it whenever
The world falls apart.

Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow it over the hill
And the stream.
Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.
Follow the fellow,
Follow the fellow,
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.

Pretty soon, Morton's singing of the quaint song went viral online and an entire movement was born from his childlike approach to campaigning with hundreds of thousands of copycat renditions of the same tune flooding the internet. Some even compared him to a cross between Chauncey Gardiner and The Pied Piper. He didn't mind, just so long as he was getting his point across.

Perhaps he had captured a zeitgeist moment or tapped into a general collective longing to restore some sanity to a chaotic world, Morton had somehow managed to make his point peacefully and with grace and persuade many floating voters to his side of the argument who might have otherwise ignored him.

And to his political opponents' great annoyance in the final hours of the count, he emphatically won the local seat to represent the town of Crumblewell.

"Thanks to all of you who voted for me and even those of you who didn't. Though I have sworn to be your non-political candidate, for all the time that I have the good grace to remain your MP I will represent you all to the best of my ability and champion rainbows as purely rainbows wherever we find them."

Then, stepping into a wicker gondola outside the old town hall, the newly elected MP fired up the burners for his hot air balloon, its silk envelope slowly inflated with all the colours of a rainbow. Sailing off into the early summer dawn, Morton left both his supporters and haters looking up from the ground as his familiar rendition of 'Look To The Rainbow' could be heard carried on the wind.

Many young children waking up that morning to see the large, rainbow decorated air balloon floating across their small, country town gasped in awe of its spendour and somehow it seemed as if a new dream of the future was born in all of their hearts.

Rainbows it appeared (at least for now) were rainbows again.