REVENGE OF THE NOWHERE MAN

He's as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man, can you see me at all

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past seven months, Great Britain currently has a "Nowhere Man" for a Prime Minister, and he’s single-handedly destroying whatever semblance of a "somewhere" place we once called home. Cosying up to the Chinese Communist Party and the crumbling European Union while flying a staggering 75,000 miles—betraying his party’s net-zero zealotry—the man seems to love being anywhere but the place he's actually meant to be running.

Being charitable, one might say he's negotiating Britain's position on the world stage. But with the voice of a strangled Dalek and the charisma of a corpse, it's clear his strategy is one of avoidance rather than confidence. The Nowhere Man (with his Blue Meanie streak) is hiding in his nowhere places.

To be fair, we've had some awful prime ministers for decades, including the Dark Sith Lord Blair (responsible for half the geopolitical chaos in the West for over two or three decades now), the depressed-jowled Gordon Brown, and the gammon-faced, Teflon man David Cameron—to say nothing of the Blonde Turk, who spaffed his short-lived legacy faster than an oversexed boar. 

Yet Starmer could be the worst of them all—like the worst Doctor Who.

Selling Britain Out, One Deal at a Time

Furthermore, Starmer seems hell-bent on a fire sale of strategic overseas territories, showing no regard for the wishes of the native populations that inhabit them. After claiming a £22 billion black hole in the national finances, he is reportedly (according to the Mauritian Prime Minister) paying £18 billion to Mauritius as part of the deal to transfer sovereignty of the Chagos Islands—an act that, to all intents and purposes, appears to be a deliberate treacherous surrender of the United Kingdom’s dwindling global power.

Add to this the insane 100-year pledge to Ukraine, where we're already paying out £3 billion a year, on top of the £2.26 billion loan already provided to the country and £120 million in humanitarian assistance. With our own infrastructure and public services crumbling—after eye-watering pay increases to the unions with little reward—it's incredible that Starmer and Reeves have somehow found additional black holes of spending for these hubristic, Strangelove-like projects doomed to fail. Still, they happily court China’s favour over our more historic international allies, exposing the idiocy of our current nihilistic strategy to commit national suicide.

Perhaps it is symbolic of Starmer’s disdain for the very kingdom he presides over that he seems determined to diminish our status in the eyes of the world. Between him and his buffoonish Foreign Secretary, David Lammy currently on a British apology tour, it feels as if they are attempting to reset the country to a Mao-like Year Zero—a regressive Eden where stuttering windmills and humourless ideology dictate the future for a soon-to-be nowhere land.

A Mission to Nowhere

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I might suspect that Starmer is actively working to weaken Britain to financial breaking point where we are left, cap in hand, at the mercy of the European Union to which he is religiously devoted—where unelected figures such as Guy Verhofstadt and Ursula von der Leyen desperately seek to consolidate their bureaucratic power before their unwieldy project collapses like a modern Tower of Babel.

Don't forget: Starmer actively sought to overturn the largest democratic vote in British history through the courts, revealing his contempt and disdain for democracy—and for the people who voted the opposite way to him. Happy to be Corbyn's right hand man until he thrust the proverbial knife into his back, the ruthless Starmer is a man who cares about nothing but power at any cost and who displays zero conviction of anything other than what serves his own authority. Politically, one might say he's like Jaws, his position of authority maintained by simply moving forward and never looking back. For just as sharks have a unique anatomy that requires them to keep swimming in order to breathe, Starmer needs power to stay afloat.

Power at any cost.

And now, we must endure Starmer's galling bare-faced hypocrisy, as mounting charges of corruption (Lord Ali), cover-ups (Southport), and deceit (Covid lockdowns) prove that he is a compulsive liar with a psychopathic disregard for the very people who voted him into power—betraying policy pledges by the day.

Since July 5th, he has impressively waged war against the working class, pensioners, farmers, students, publicans, business owners and many on welfare—all while spending most of his time out of the country, behind closed doors, anywhere he can’t be held to account.

This is typical of a Nowhere Man, waging war against Somewhere People who just want the best for their country’s future.

They say you get the politicians you deserve. Perhaps this is Britain’s endgame anyway. A race to the bottom.

Certainly Starmer is accelerating our decline faster than a starship rocket—like a man carrying out the opposite of a mission to the stars.

A mission to nowhere.