GEORGIO & ANDREAS

I seriously think if the London Tourist Board had half a mind then they might see my way of thinking that Georgio could be the best advert for the city since Charles Dickens, who conveyed both the best and worst of humanity in the place.

In fact, both Georgio and his friends remind me a little bit of the Artful Dodger and the rest of Fagin's gang of charming, yet wholly criminal "yoots" from Oliver Twist as they wander round looking to "finesse" free food and secure the best cups of water as if they were the most qualified sommeliers of that most essential fluid on earth.

"This is nice water."

Last night we were introduced to Georgio's younger brother, Andreas, who "spawned" his way into the live stream as Georgio continued to promote the virtues of 'free' food within earshot of the hard working staff.

"The best food is free food, guys. I'm telling you it is elite."

After the fresh faced Andreas "finessed" an ice cream McFlurry, Georgio worked on getting himself his own bag of food as he roughly guessed the right amount of items in a forlorn looking random order sitting teasingly just behind the counter. Using a scrumpled up piece of blank white paper and explaining calmly to the cashier that the receipt hadn't printed out properly, it almost seemed like some sort of Jedi mind trick going on here just like when Obi Wan Kenobi waves a couple of storm troopers away with the classic line "these aren't the droids you're looking for."

When further questioned about what exactly he'd ordered from the self order machine, Georgio simply replied.

"I don't know. I 'm drunk."

The irony being, of course, our host was as sober as a judge, choosing to drink only the finest water in the city.

"I don't understand why people drink alcohol, guys."

Eventually, in the words of Ferris Bueller, that original OG of blag and grooving in the city - "they bought it". In this instance, the cashier. However, already full from eating in the daytime, Georgio handed his spoils to another homeless person on the street. This Robin Hood of fast food appears to believe in siphoning off from corporations to bring sustenance to those in need. You might even say there is an element of altruism here, though I think in all honesty Georgio just likes any excuse to practice his Jedi sorcery with free food and provide content to his viewers.

Altruism can be a helluva drug and oftens encourages a covert messianic tendency in individuals. I like to think the blag comes first for Georgio and Andreas and charity second. God knows, we've already got enough virtue signallers in this world right now.

"We're passionating!"

Quickly returning to the Snog bus, the two brothers found little in the way of content so proceeded to gravitate toward a young, "David Brent" looking busker delivering a somewhat "painful" rendition of John Denver's singalong anthem Country Roads by the dirty old river on the South Bank where Georgio expressed a combination of disgust and concern.

"Why is he bent over like that. I think that guy has a problem you know?"

After convincing his younger brother Andreas to shout into the singer's mic the words "Passion Army!" a battle cry for all Georgio's many followers on Discord, all that was left for them was to watch the assembled crowd sing"Wonderwall" with what was essentially a "mid" pub singer as if they themselves were aliens who had never seen such behaviour before.

There is a feeling of detachment watching humans and their nocturnal activities through Georgio's phone camera lens, as if it's all an exercise in social anthopology or a David Attenborough documentary, albeit much more interactive.

"Lots of NPCs' out tonight guys."

Returning back over the bridge, it's impressive just how many steps these boys clock up on their live streams. It appears they almost have the endurance of marathon runners. Clearly that unbeatable combination of McDonalds and ice water can keep you well fuelled on hot summer nights.

Mixing up their usual haunts, the two brothers started to make they way into the five star Corinthia hotel in Whitehall place.

Like two trespassers kitted out in casual wear, there's never a sense that Georgio and Andreas don't belong in this elite world of finery. If anything they believed they're entitled to all the city can offer them, just so long as security doesn't boot them out before they've had a chance to taste the free water.

Free water is like the magic passport to buy yourself time when you're clearly not intending to purchase anything or stay at these luxury places. God forbid they ever bring in a equivalent of a hose pipe ban on free cups of water in the city. Georgio would be ruined.

And then Andreas gave a limp, uncertain rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on an expensive looking piano in the hotel foyer before the bullish Maitre'd ushered him away from the instrument.

"Guys. That is a seriously elite place. I highly recommend you check it out."

Georgio said this as if he was the proprieter of the place and was inviting his thousands of viewers to sample his free water in the opulent looking bar both he and his brother had just perused.

At this point I was also getting heavy Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin) vibes from Home Alone 2 remembering his precocious ability to book himself into the New York Plaza in the peak holiday season at Christmas. Maybe Georgio and Andreas will look at how to extend their stay at Corinthia in the future. Would be good content! ^^

Returning to a place where he had previously fallen foul with the staff, Georgio seemed to sense his days at Maitre Choux may be numbered, much to his deep regret as he particularly loves their Chouquettes.

Departing the pastry shop with a heavy heart and holding up an L sign with his fingers, he went off in search of yet more content.

This time to Burger King where he encouraged Andreas to demonstrate his skills in "finessing" once again.

"You've got to be quicker. Timing is important."

Filming his brother on his stream and advising him from the wings like a part baseball coach/sensai with his young prodigy/padawan, a mixture of frustration and ultimately pride abounded as after a little temerity, Andreas snagged another bag of food, including some chicken nuggets.

"These aren't too good," Georgio exclaimed, inspecting the nugget as if he was expecting a Michelin star meal in a fine dining restaurant.

Nevertheless, happy with the free fries, burger and lemon fanta, Georgio considered his brother's ever improving skills a massive W for the Passion Army and concluded happily that, "We eat like kings".

Before returning back on the night bus, the disgruntled worker who shooed Georgio away from Maitre Choux appeared on the street after closing time and immediately recognised the young antagoniser. Handing him a couple of Chouquettes from his own free box, I instantly observed there was some sort of bribery going on here, the kind you might see in an old gangster movie.

"Here. Have these. But don't come back into the store."

To me, this weird logic seems like giving a squirrel a bag of nuts and telling it not to come back and make its nest in your roof.

Passing over the Chouqettes to Georgio and Andreas, he gave a not so subtle pinch of the arm to our host who made no commitment whatsoever to honouring that agreement but was grateful, nonetheless, for the free Chouquettes.

"These Chouqettes are the best guys. Oh my God!"

I should state for the record that as many nemeses as Georgio has, he also has some allies in the city, including a camp bar manager dressed up as a cop and some random takeaway worker who he always high fives.

What's becoming ever more clear to me is that it's Georgio's London and all of these characters (friend or foe) are simply living in it.