2 min read

THE LYNCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS

Though the head of the Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers Union pretends to the press he is in no way an ideologue, he is quite clearly fooling nobody, not even his most ardent supporters who love him for that very reason.

If posture and a strait-jacketed persona were a dead giveaway for a man's absolute belief in his own political fundementalism then Mick Lynch embodies that purity of unwavering conviction just by the way he stands in front of the press microphones. Like a great actor, he is born to play this role - the big man for the little man. He is immovable as a rock and as unwavering as a royal guard although he is also an avowed republican and would have shot of the monarchy quicker than you can catch a train from Guildford to Waterloo these days.

This titan of industry action swears by strategising revolutionary zeal and often cites Irish Socialist Republican James Connolly as his hero. It is no wonder that he had drawn upon the spirit of 'brave men' of history who once carried out similar actions as he currently does; it's almost as if he can hear them spurring him on each day on the picket lines, in front of the pack-hungry media like conspiratorial ghosts whispering in his ear. And it's undeniable to those familar with this archetype that Mick fits into, like his mormon style business suit, that there is something of the hammer and sickle surrrounding Mr Lynch. The Soviet style strong arm approach to him has clearly roused the hearts of tik tok soy activists and slumbering old labour types off their couches and onto their keyboards to warrior troll those disbelieving of his greatness. Indeed, Trotsky and Lenin would admire his ruthless tactics of not giving an inch against a lily livered "conservative" government whilst slowly tightening his iron grip around their balls until he bursts their pips like a squidgy peach.

Social media has surely helped in shining a light on this bushy browed, bald headed Caesar. Clamorous likes and shares of his media confrontations on Facebook and Twitter have become must watch moments for a people starving for real leadership in the desert of modern politics. They feel vindicated in their solidarity each time they post Mick Lynch's highlights reel.

One great irony to observe, of course, is that here is a man who prides himself on being a despotic individualist in ruling the roost of the RMT but at the same time embraces collectivism like a religion.

And he's no fool, our Mick. He can drive the rail strikes for as long as he likes because he has the full backing of the opposition party and probably quite a few in central government, (besides, they all pretty much use uber and private transportation anyway). He knows better than most that this is all theatre (it is pantomime season after all) and in the end no-one really cares about the ordinary public and their getting home to their families for Christmas.

For what is Christmas to a revolutionary union baron anyway? Mere capitalist distraction with baubles. Besides, when the red revolution comes and the working people all unite around one common cause as one, all of Mick's avowed enemies will surely be turkeys anyway.

And never forget, real socialism isn't just for Christmas.

It's forever, Comrade!