2 min read

THE WILLOWS

Although I rarely frequent them anymore, there are few greater luxuries, when in a once-major city like London, than slipping into a private club and ducking out of the rat (not Ratty!) race for a few hours. For me, it feels like having all the stress of the city shut out while I compose myself and center myself on an island of relative peace and calm.

The last time I visited the Chelsea Arts Club, I remember being blissed out on the near-silence of no ringtone or message notification intrusions. Instead, I could hear every gentle clink of every spoon and every mellow clack of every snooker ball before they fell into netted pockets nearby. I could even hear the sounds of birds chirping through the French doors that open out onto the pretty garden and tables outside.

I also remember some cosy afternoons spent inside Brydges Place Club, along that Harry Potter-style famously narrow alleyway in London's West End, connecting St. Martin's Lane to Bedfordbury. Stepping inside, I almost believed I had quantum-leaped back in time to the Dickensian era, sitting in red velvet chairs, convinced I could write the next Oliver Twist.

Recently, in my idle moments, I’ve thought about what type of private club I would like to organise, and so far, my idea seems to find its inspiration in Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows.

It could be called The Willows and would be structured according to key locations in the book:

  • Mole Hill (or Mole’s Dive) – Casual dining/bar area
  • The Riverbank (Or Picnic Room) – Ratty's 'formal' dining room would feature a shimmering and undulating 'light on water' effect on the walls, resembling a sparkling spring afternoon by the river. I would also include picnic-style square tablecloths and a small plate menu featuring cold chicken, cold tongue, cold ham, cold beef, pickled gherkins, salad, French rolls, cress sandwiches, potted meat, ginger beer, lemonade, and soda water—just like Mole and Ratty enjoy with their iconic picnic in the book.
  • Toad's Games Room – Based on the ostentatiousness of Toad Hall and includes a snooker table, darts, Ringing the Bull (or Weasel), and a red baize card table
  • The Wild Woods – Badger's library and study rooms complete with grand piano for occasional recitals.
  • The Willows – Guest rooms where members can stay overnight, each with a willowy canopy and a copy of the classic Grahame book next to each bed.

Could you imagine spending a dark, dank winter's afternoon or evening in Mole's Dive, The Riverbank or half asleep in The Wild Woods reading a book before retiring to your dreamy Willow-themed bed for the dreamiest of slumbers?

Of course, as London is so awfully grotty these days, the ideal location for The Willows Club would be Pangbourne, the village and civil parish on the River Thames in West Berkshire, England, where Grahame lived for the last years of his life. There's even a small chalk stream called the Pang (a tributary of the Thames) that runs through it. Ratty and Mole would love it—and probably Badger too. Toad has no choice cos he's a spoilt bastard.

Okay, that's enough day dreaming.

Back to reality.

Sigh.