WHERE SHALL WE FUCK OFF TO?

Since the summer, I’ve been hearing more and more from people close to me—and some not so close—that they’re keen to leave the country, now that we’ve been overtaken by authoritarian, Britain-hating, tax-raising, land-grabbing communists who are currently “running” the government, and I can’t say I blame them.

It’s been galling to watch the likes of the “looney” Ed Miliband appointed as Energy Secretary while the UK suffers from the world’s highest energy bills, as he pursues his Net Zero targets like an eco-zealot Dr. Strangelove. And with David Lammy as our Foreign Secretary, it’s no surprise we’re squarely at the top of the global laughingstock Olympics. I mean how can you blame people for dreaming up their own “doomsday fantasy islands” for where to move next.

Once you trash a nation’s morale—whether by design or incompetence—it’s only a matter of time before good-faith citizens start planning their brighter futures elsewhere.

As for me, I’m already drawing up a shortlist, based largely on cultural affinities: Finland (Sibelius), Japan (Ozu), Italy (Puccini), and the United States (Gershwin). But at the same time, I feel a bit like Frodo Baggins, bound by a sense of duty to save the Shire from the armies of Mordor. After all, how could I live with myself if I gave up so easily on what past generations fought so valiantly to protect?

It’s certainly a dilemma.

Where's Gandalf when you need him for counsel?